Whats on your heart when you wake up?

Today I wanted to share with you from my journal.  This is just a little something that God put on my heart this morning and wanted to share.

For the past two days I have had this is on my heart singing it when I wake up.

 

"At the cross at the cross I surrender my life - I'm in awe of You I'm in awe of You

Here my faith will stand here on solid ground here I bow down here I bow down"

 

It doesn't' take a rocket scientist to tell me what God is placing on my heart.  I have never in my 40 years ever heard God speak.  You hear all these stories from people that actually hear Him!  I use to get rather jealous (even though I knew my life was and has never been connected to God like these dear friends).  But reality is, God speaks to his children in different ways, He use our sometimes weakness and our strengths to get our attention.  And I must say music is a strong hold in my life.  This has not been the first time I have woken up with a song in my head...BUT this is the first time I have waken up (for days in a row) with a song on my HEART!

Thank you Lord Jesus for always taking time for me!

 

 

Now lets back up a few weeks. I have been reading Letting it Go and honestly thought "okay I need to let go of my past"!  Well its funny what God has in store sometimes!  As I began reading this book God put a very heavy thought into my lovely heart "Heidi you have no past issues!  You use your past as an excuse to allow these areas in your life - jealousy and envious" - trust me this hurt a lot!  And honestly after taking a few days of praying on my knees, He was so very right!  But here is the good news -  He can take our weakness and use them for His good!  And over the past two days waking up with this song so heavily on my heart, I feel God truly helping me with these areas.  BUT it is a daily struggle!!  Yes I said DAILY!  We must CHOOSE (the word that is so hard for me) to allow Him help us!  Let go of the control! 

 

I'm sorry this post is kind of all over the place but I truly feel God put it on my heart and I had to share.  Over the past four or five days I have sat to blog and I have had no internet...God...I think so.  He had other plans.  I just truly want to be real and honest.  We all struggle with areas of our lives and that is okay, we just have to remember God loves us and everything that is in our lives He can and He will use!!   

How do you see yourelf?

At bible study this week we chatted about the love of our Heavenly Father!  The love that he has for his daughters!  Yes I said daughters!  Jesus is our Heavenly Father so that would make you his daughter! 

How many time have you beat yourself up about a decision you've made or a choice that didn't go exactly how you saw it in your head.  Have there been days you feel like you just keep failing at everything you do or nothing you say will ever be enough.  How does this make you see yourself? For me, I just start tearing everything apart about me one negative thing after another.  Once (I know for me) we hit that wall it is very hard to see the positive in us.  We are always our worst critics!

You know what is amazing!  When we are beating ourselves up Jesus is praising and loving on us!  When we are calling ourselves a failure or worst mom of the year or worst sister of the year, he is saying you are strong, you are lovely, you are desirable, you are beautiful, you are caring, you are compassionate!  When we beat ourselves down - do you think that is the work of Jesus?  NO!  Soooo if he doesn't beat us down why do we!?!?  He will NEVER say anything negative about his daughter!  He will NEVER!!  He loves us and wants to build us up!  So if he wont say anything bad or negative why do we! 

So what do we do with these negative thoughts about how we see ourselves?  Let me tell you I am a big big big work in process in this area!   Jesus has given us many tools to help with this area of our lives.  His Word - we need to be in his Word daily!  He left it for us!!  Call a friend - yes this means you have to show weakness to your fiends! Prayer - keep a continually line of pray going daily.  Chat with him about everything!  You do not have to be on your knees to be in prayer with him, but I will say on your knees is an amazing time of prayer!  Church - we need fellowship!  We crave this believe it or not!  It is such a time of uplifting and rest!  The more we draw closer to our Heavenly Father, the more we will feel his love and the more we will start seeing ourselves the way he sees us...His daughter!!  He loves you so so so so so (did I say so) much!!  He is here to help guide you and to uplift and encourage and love!!  Open your heart and let him!!!
  

(from the book Letting It Go)  I hope you feel encouraged with this.  I have it taped to my wall in the bathroom right by the mirror!

Flawed and frail and imperfect at times, but deeply beloved.  The apple of His eye.  His priceless mater piece, His precious possession.  Clothed in His righteousness, spotless and pure before Him.  Radiant with His love, His joy, His peace.  Fearfully and wonderfully made.  Gloriously and unique.  Day by day becoming a beautiful reflection of Him.

 

 



Just being real

What do you want to get out of life?  Where do you see your priorities at?  Where do you feel your main focus is? 

If you are a Christian there are some maybe hard realities (at least it is hard for me).  This week in my quiet time (if this is something that you are not doing, I truly ask you give it a try!  You will be amazed at what can come out of giving God 10, 15, 20 or even 30 minutes of your precious time) I hit a hard reality.  Here is what came to me:

How do I become more of you!

How do I stop be fake and truly start living from my heart!

 

I am just being real, this was the conviction God put on my heart the other day.  Then would you know it, He gave me some guidance for this.  Yes they seem like some pretty cut and dry statements but for this old human girl they seem to be my biggest and hardest struggles! 

 

For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you will live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return.

Philippians 1:10 (NLT)

 

This was my daily verse from Bible Gateway after these statements where placed on my heart...God maybe!  Here is what I poured out to God.

 

What is there to truly understand....That Christ Jesus is to be at front and center of our lives!!  When He is not, we put space between Him and us!  Space will lead us to paths that are without Him.  LIFE IS NOT ABOUT US!!!  It's about TELLING/SHOWING/BEING Christ to those around us!  To save them from this sinful world!!

 

Again I am just being real.  This is my journal entry from 7/10/15 and I have to tell you it was a painful morning!  Painful because I am CHOOSING not to want to become more of Him and in doing so I am living a fake life.  It is a reality that is hard to admit.  When we place anything before Him, He is not our focus!  Okay okay okay, we are human but that is not an excuse to mess up.  That is the mercy He gives us because He knows we are human.  But over all, I have to daily make a choice to put Him first and when I start doing that I will become more of Him and will start living a life of truth to those around me.  Oaky okay okay I know!  How do we do this 24/7, with grace!  We will stumble, we will walk down the wrong path, we will focus on the wrong thing...but in the end when we choose to live a life WITH God and DESIRE to have a relationship with God...He gives us grace, picks us up and says today is a new day!

 

"cast our sins into the depths of the ocean"

Micah 7:19 (NLT)

 

He gives us grace and mercy because He loves us and He knows our hearts!!  Where is your heart today...your focus...what are you desiring to become more of?  My heart is breaking more and more each day as God works on it and is being the Potter that He is, in making my heart new for Him!!

 

Always remember "You are enough just as you are"!  He love you deeply that He hurts for you!  He DESIRES you!!